Note: this is an April Fool’s joke. Rest assured, we are not avatars, and we are working from the office.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
In an effort to combat rising gas prices, Thumbprint announced today that it is moving all employees and their families into its new all-virtual environment. Loosely modeled after Gorillaz’s Plastic Beach, “Thumbprint World,” as it will be known, features multiple spaces designed to optimize work-life balance.
Thumbprint World comprises 5 distinct areas, including an Office Tower, NBA Jam® Land, Flyover Land, Steve Jobs Land, and New Smyrna Beach.
The Thumbprint Office Tower is a replica of the nearby Majesty Building, which is still under construction. “Since they can’t seem to finish it after 20 years, we figured we would do Orlando a favor by completing it virtually,” said CEO Greg Gill. The modern office includes collaboration spaces, a T-shirt ATM, an Arby’s® restaurant, and the “Print has Evolved” Visitor’s Center. The main virtual conference room includes thoughtful touches such as a Dr. Evil-style attendee discipline console for Greg, as well as individual participant control over the volume of Brian Gill’s voice.
NBA Jam® Land serves as the health and wellness area for Thumbprint World. Built specifically so that CXO Brian Gill and COO Tod Ellington can actually dunk, the main basketball court features Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson themed backboards. “You thought I was on fire before; wait until you see my crossover fade away when I’m wearing my virtual Footprint kicks!” proclaimed a very excited Brian Gill.
Flyover Land, where it snows 24-7, was created to help team members from Canada, Nebraska, and Indiana feel more at home. Employees can choose a different colored parka daily and keep their native skills honed by playing the augmented reality Driveway Shoveling game.
The Steve Jobs Center for Thumbprint Innovation is the company’s new technology hub and also serves as a virtual home for COO Tod Ellington. From his penthouse, Tod can look down adoringly upon the statue of Steve Jobs in the central plaza. APIs allow team members to perform all sorts of logistical feats, such as delivering themselves to work using actual technology. “I love being able to drive my MacBook to the office,” quipped Ellington.
At New Smyrna Beach, team members can bring their families to the virtual condo complex for some R&R time. Family activities include shark wrestling, manatee feeding, and digital tattoos. Accommodations are also available for Thumbprint’s customers and partners.
Thumbprint World was developed in partnership with Elevux, world-class creators of immersive virtual experiences.
For more information regarding Thumbprint World, contact us at 277.453.6657.